There’s times in my life where I’m sitting with my friends from highschool and looking at how different our lifes had turned out to be than we expected. Well, at that time I didn’t know where I would end up, I wanted to be married to my boyfriend I had been dating all through high school and maybe become a Kindergarten teacher so I would still have some time to spend with my children. I can tell you one thing… I am so glad I didn’t go that route!
Traveling and photography had always been a dream of mine. I won’t explain every decision I have made and the reasons I made them but I have a reason for all of them. Honestly, everything I have ever wanted to do in life so far I have done even if it wasn’t exactly as expected but I believe God had been guiding me every step of the way. To say the least, If it weren’t for me going to esthecian school and cosmetology school years later I would have never been able to land one of my dream jobs, working on a cruiseship. It didn’t matter to me what I was doing on the ship I could have been an esthetician, a server, a photographer, or a cosmetologist. I just wanted to travel and save money. I always assumed it would be a ship touring around Europe but I was placed in Hawaii which is probably the best way I could make money on a ship anyway. I never thought I would be a cosmetologist but I am and I love it even though I dont nessicarily define myself as one. I thought I would be much better at photography by now but I’m all over the place with my hobbies and have much more to learn.
What I’m trying to say here is, I’m 24… I thought I would be married by now and ready to have a baby by next year. I can’t help but laugh at that thought because I haven’t been in a serious relationship in years and I’m no where close to even be able to take care of a child! (sometimes I feel like I’m still 18)
There’s times I’ve felt worn out or just sad like, “this it?” I’ve always had goals to work toward and accomplished the majority and then theres points in my life and wonder what’s next and if there is anything more to life than this? I’m happy with where God has lead me and I’m always crazy excited to see what lies ahead. But there’s so many times I loose focus on what matters. My accomplishments dont matter, my new car doesn’t matter, finding the love of my life doesn’t matter… because it all material things, all things of this world that I’m using to glorify myself instead of God who deserves all the glory! I shouldn’t care about how different I thought my life would be, the worst feeling is getting exactly what you wanted and it not satisfying you and I’ve gone through that far too many times. God should be the only thing I long for, My first love above all else, I need that constant reminder and this article tells us that.
What if you find the man of your dreams… and you’re not the one for him?
Originally I wrote this long journal entry on this topic, explaining every detail of this dream guy, how I met him (or thought I did) and how the rest of the story went. I came to the conclusion in posting this that I didn’t need to expose all those feelings and in reality, as I try to convince myself, he just wasn’t that into me. I wasn’t the woman for him, The End.
I’ve developed this fear of dating and the only place I find peace is with God and in him I find this hope. The man I made up to be “The One” (literally had a list and it was him to the T and then some) God graciously let me meet him in the most inopportune time, although he was a great fit and a wonderful man of God, he isn’t who God intended me to be with and to even think… God has someone even better than the man of MY Dreams?! Whoa!! I mean… WHOA!
Do away with the man of your dreams, let God be your match maker<3